X-Men of the Caribbean

Check it.

The plan was to get wings and watch X-Men: First Class. That was also everyone’s plan too, because by the time we got there it was sold out.

This meant that we ended up watching Pirates of the Caribbean 4. Not only that but it was in 3D. I was disappointed and thus here is my very jaded review of Pirates of the Caribbean 4.

The acting was vacant, and really developed no real character. Aside from Depp as Sparrow (which has already been well established) I could see through Penelope’s character and it was a little awkward. She was acting like a pirate but all I could see was Penelope Cruz. And I don’t like Penelope Cruz. Ian McShane did play a good Blackbeard, but I like McShane as an actor and I always thought he’d be a good pirate. Instead of Cruz I would have cast Salma Hayak as the female lead. She’s prettier and would have provided a better heat/friction with Depp. Anyone heard of Sam Clafin? He played a cleric in the movie and his role was totally useless. How did he get there, he was too conveniently placed into the film to be the “solution” at the time of need.

The story was very transparent as well. The story had Jack escaping from the gallows, and with Barbossa, trying to find the fountain of youth before the Spaniards do. Ultimately its discovered that the Spaniards just wanted to destroy the heresy that is the fountain of youth. If they were going to destroy it, then why did they spend all the time in getting the particular pieces that would make it work. Why didn’t they just blow everything up and be done with it. Why, oh why did I spend two hours and a half watching this nonsense.

In conclusion, at least this movie didn’t have Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly and they should NOT make another Pirates of the Caribbean – retire the series altogether and write an original pirate adventure movie. That would be awesome!

I’ve said my peace, now to watch X-Men: First Class.

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