Gender Roles and the Average Male

I’m conflicted as I write this post. On one hand, I don’t want to pay any attention to something that has received some negative media attention. On the other, I can’t just bite my tongue and I need to say my piece.

Daryush Valizadeh. That name was recently the cause of much distress for Canadians due to some very controversial views on women and relationships in general. It seems that he’s been vilified as being a man who condones rape in the privacy of a private residence. I haven’t heard what he actually said regarding the rape comment, however I did take the liberty of watching two other videos he had posted on his YouTube channel.

The first video I watched was one that was titled 36 Things Wrong with American Women. As much as I wanted to turn it off I sat through it, much to my dismay. The second video was actually posted by a Brandon Carter – who according to his profile is a self-professed best-selling author, speed reader and fitness expert.  This video was an interview titled How to turn your passion into profit and its one that I had to turn off at the 3:11 mark.

Daryush claims to be a writer – and I’ll give him that. He’s written 22 books, all of which seem to do with getting laid and places to get laid (or not to get laid) for those that choose to travel for sex. From what I can see, he’s an “expert” on getting women into bed and feels like it’s his duty to share his wisdom to other men.

It’s my belief that this man and his philosophies are part of what is negatively affecting our society AND the stifled evolution of gender roles. I’m not going to waste my time in reading his instructions on how to get laid, however these books are the first issue with his philosophy. Getting laid is not a game, if your end game is just getting laid then there are escorts and hookers to help you with that. As much as I don’t support the sex-for-sale trade, I still feel that it’s a better alternative than this need to “hunt” for sex. This type of objectification of women by men is a contributing factor to the gender gap that exists today.

Secondly, the list. I had some major issues with his list of things “wrong” with American women. I’ve previously stated how religion drives people apart, well stereotypes contribute to the same. People are different and be that due to race, religion or geographical placement and if you don’t like or agree with them, then don’t associate with them.

Some of the items on his list made me laugh as he was obviously exposed to a very small population of Americans. For Example: Number 3 – The fact that all American women have short hair, which obviously equals laziness as they do not want to maintain long hair. For twelve years I’ve had long hair, and I can attest that it does require more attention but if I have the ability to cut my hair short, why should any woman be chastised for doing the same? I’ve met some very non-lazy bald women in my life that are quite pleasant.

Number eleven states that a woman who has given up on getting a man, gets a dog instead!? I strongly disagree – I see animal adoption as quite a compassionate and caring action. It’s a huge responsibility to adopt and raise a pet and to do so by yourself is akin to being a single parent. To take on such a huge responsibility is quite honourable and should not be belittled as a negative attribute.

Then there were number nineteen & thirty-one. They really got to me as it was a clear statement that a woman is not worth as much as a man. Nineteen states that American women are proud to be dating many men, as if they were men themselves. Thirty-one claims that women care more about maintaining a good career instead of keeping a home and family, that they care more about money instead of having kids and a husband. Clearly this list is compiled by someone who is under the impression that women have a place and it’s nowhere near a career or a choice. This bothers me as I feel that our own societal progression is dependent on eliminating our sense of cast and gender and view each other as we are, people. Letting people carve out their own path instead of following archaic and simply irrelevant gender roles is one of the first things that need to happen before we can evolve as a society.

He goes on and on about the most asinine stereotypes about Americans, insinuating all the while that a woman’s role isn’t much more then to be a wife, mother and model all at the same time. He is publishing books called “Bang” teaching young, sexually frustrated men and passing along negative insights that help nobody.

I’m friends with plenty of American women and none of this applies to them. My own wife is (secretly) American and I can say that she couldn’t be the farther from this list and that makes me happy. She is an individual who is not only focused on herself but on our relationship as well. We work best when we’re each happy and this is a lesson that I think few people actually get a chance to learn. Instead of teaching young men how to get laid, teach them how to be in a happy relationship. Foster a happy partnership by ensuring that both of you are happy. If you’re living with someone that makes you miserable or makes you hide who you truly are, why stay? If you’re lying and sneaking around to do things that make you happy then why aren’t you focusing your efforts on finding someone who can enjoy what you do, or at least accept it? I guess that just not the way this world works.

Oh and one last thing about the list, number Twenty-three. I think it’s appalling when people do this, but he skipped point twenty-three altogether. I mean why lie and say you have thirty-six items on your list when you clearly only have thirty-five!

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