Twas the night before Star Wars and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my mouse.
Reviews started spilling all over the web,
As our patience and suspense are now at an end.
On Rotten Tomatoes and on Geektyrant too,
Even Crave has released their opinion for you.
This had me a flutter, aghast and askew,
As I’ve tried to avoid reading anything new.
For most other films I’ll watch, read and brew,
Over rumors of castings, easter eggs and what’s new.
But this isn’t just any old movie release,
It’s STAR WARS – a cinematic masterpiece.
I’ve seen all the trailers and read all the news,
And have hunted through all of it looking for clues.
But now I have stopped as I remember back when,
I first watched Empire, I must only have been,
Five years old, so young and so new,
Wearing everything Star Wars, right to my underoos.
That feeling I got when it was fully revealed,
That Darth was Luke’s father, I was out in left field.
That joy was renewed when George Lucas first said,
That he was ready to visit the Wars again.
I hoped and I prayed that the prequels would rock,
I waited in a line that wound ’round the block.
That opening crawl took me back to that place,
Where I sat next to Chewie, soaring through space.
Then the movie had ended and my hopes were all dashed,
My initial excitement was shattered like glass.
Mr Lucas’ vision had broken my heart,
As Anakin and Jar-Jar stunk worse then my farts.
I had let all the hype pull me in way too deep,
I was left feeling dirty, broken and cheap.
I didn’t want politics, no pod racing tales,
I wanted Jedi’s and magic not box office sales.
Now I know what you’re thinking,
I know what you’ll say.
“This isn’t George Lucas,
It can’t go that way.”
I’m not going to let social media win,
I’m not going to stumble upon the cool spin.
That twist at the end, that secret reveal,
I want to be five, full of hope and of zeal.
With this simple poem, I now disconnect,
That way I don’t have to try and deflect.
Whoever will try and send spoilers my way,
Before I wake up on that glorious day.
The day that I’ll sit in the theatre seat,
Like five year old me who was in for a treat.
I’ll sit and I’ll judge and I’ll cheer and I’ll jeer,
I’ll proclaim that the film is the best/worst of the year.
I now sign off my tech which takes all of my might,
Merry Star Wars to all – And to all a good night!